Priorities

When we started homeschooling nine years ago I was simply a mommy and a wife.  Granted, I was a mommy to a 5-year-old, a 2-year-old, a 1-year-old, and a 2-month-old and was very busy, but it was a different kind of busy than what I am today.  My busyness came from taking care of my babies and our home and that was enough. 

Today I am still a wife and still a mommy, the only difference being that I am a mommy to a 14-year old, an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 9-year-old.  But in addition to my duties as a wife and mother, and of course a homeschooler, over the years I have also become the leader of a girl's group at church, a Sunday School teacher, the VBS director at our church, a babysitter, a homeschool product reviewer, and the 'upkeeper' of my hubby's at-home business while he works his full-time job.

But lately I have felt an unsettleing inside.  It didn't take me long to realize that it was the Lord nudging me to get my priorities back in order, to get back to what HE wants me to do.  First, I am a wife.  Secondly, a mother.  Those two things have to be a priority and to be honest, they have both taken a back seat to everything else.  I look around and see that my house is not a home.  It's not a haven for my husband to come home to after a long day at work.  I am not setting a good example to my children, especially my two daughters, in how to keep an orderly and comfortable home nor how to be a helpmeet.

God has also called me to homeschool our children, this I know for sure.  Our days used to center around learning, reading, and discovering together!  But as I've added more and more hats over the years I'm sad to say that we have evolved into a workbook, little-hands-on, independent-work type of homeschool.  This is the very opposite of what we loved about homeschooling in the first place.  While there's nothing wrong with homeschooling with workbooks and certainly, developing our children into independent learners is always the goal of homeschool families, for our family the unit study, hands-on approach much more fit our lifestyle and it's something I miss very much.  My children are growing up right before my eyes and I'm tired of letting other things get in the way of enjoying every single second of watching them do so.

I am simply doing too many things, and only doing a so-so job at each of them.  And because of this the very things I love the most have suffered.  Taking on too much has also taken it's toll on my health as well, and that is not good for anyone.  I have put my own health on the back burner and as a result I have put on a considerable amount of weight and my blood pressure is at an unhealthy level.  There once was a day when I rose early and exercised (and spent time with the Lord!) before anyone else in my family woke up.  That hasn't happened in a very long time and I miss it.  I am so thankful the Lord loves me and my family enough to gently show me that I need to realign my priorities to His.

As of a few months ago I am no longer over the girl's group at church.  In His perfect timing God made a way for this by replacing the group with another opportunity for our girls to be together and learn about the Lord. 

After next week I will no longer be babysitting.  This was a very difficult and heart-wrenching decision for me.  The little ones I watch have been with us for a year and have become like my own.  We all love them very, very much and will miss them greatly.  However, after much prayer I know that this is something I must do.  Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing.  Often times it requires sacrifice.

I am still praying and believe there will be even more changes to come in the near future.  When one makes decisions such as these it doesn't always sit well with others and that is sometimes a very hard thing.  Saying 'no' is not very popular these days.  However, as long as I know I am doing exactly what God wants me to do then I can go forward in confidence and peace, knowing that He will work out all the details and more importantly, I know He will be pleased with my obedience.  After all, obedience IS better than sacrifice and I'd rather obey Him than make others happy and sacrifice His blessings any day!

How about you?  Are you doing too much and thus sacrificing these most important years in your children's lives?  Years you can never get back?  What things can you put aside or say 'no' to (or maybe just 'not right now') in order to put God and your family back in first priority where they belong?  Are you willing to sacrifice the good for the better?